All Ellie Robertson has wanted to be since childhood is a painter: after all, that’s the easiest way to speak without actually having to say anything. But now she’s turning thirty, has had a major career win, and is only just realising that she might have let some minor things slide. Like, for instance, working out how to love another human being. So Ellie decides to do what any normal person would do: paint a portrait of each of her exes, from the childhood crush to the woman she may or may not still be madly in love with. The only problem is that she now needs to get in touch with everyone she’s dated, and not everyone is exactly happy to talk to her. Hilarious and bittersweet, Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated is a story of a young woman who decides to finally try and see other people – even if she runs the risk of (god forbid) finally seeing herself.