‘Razor’ was Neil Ruddock’s caricature of the larger-than-life football hardman, a persona which become a comfort blanket to smother every mood, every emotion. When his front door closed, the laughter stopped. With his trademark humour and brutal honesty, Ruddock recounts how he spiralled so far out of control that he lost sight of who he really was. No matter how he was feeling, he reached for the same old answer, the mask of ‘Razor’ and a big night out. Toxic is Ruddock’s candid and inspiring memoir charting his journey of self-destruction through to pressing the reset button after his dangerous addiction’s took him to the brink of death. This is the moving story of the battle of Ruddock’s life: to find the strength to free himself from the shackles of the person he thought he needed to be, and become the man he always knew he was.